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THE PIG - Owner’s Manual
My name is THE PIG. I can also go by other names like MR PIG, but piglet is not acceptable. You should know that I descend from a very ancient bore tribe and sometimes I have the tendency to be a bit wild. I must NEVER be left unattended in the presence of children as I have sharp edges that will damage the little ones. If my content is being consumed with any mixture that contains fermented grapes or hops, I also ask you treat me with precaution.
I will be your loyal servant for a lifetime if treated well, e.g. cleaned and rubbed to prevent my skin from being attacked by the environment. I am tough and getting wet is not an issue, as long as I am properly treated afterwards.
Another piece of advice is that if transported, I can become a porcupine. I like my personal space and if other goods are packed too close I will most certainly damage these. Again I have a wild side so I suggest you make sure I am properly tied down when being transported. With the above said, I LOVE travelling and it will be great to meet your friends. I am sure they will be impressed with your insight in making such a valuable acquisition.
I love preparing bread, so stop reading, light a fire and get the dough mixed! And also congratulate yourself for being a very clever individual!